Rock On Mommies (Excuse our dust while we remodel)
Excuse our dust while we remodel!
I know I said I was going to take the day off, but
I am not perfect.
I’m not an expert.
What works for me, may not work for you.
I do believe that there are a few kids out there that are just extremely well behaved and just telling them no is enough. I believe that is only about 2% of the world.
The rest of the kids, they need to be DISCIPLINED!!!
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I can’t tell you how many times people gave me dirty looks or told me all my kid needed was a good spanking.
He wasn’t misbehaving. He was psychotic. My son is schizophrenic. The last time I left him alone (a la a timeout) to think about his behavior, he attempted suicide. That was 8 years ago.
Please consider that the child may have some special needs that manifest behaviorally before you chastise all moms.
Sorry to hear that Chrisa, but like I said, what works for my family, may not work for yours. I also have to tell you, if a child hits my kid on the play ground, that kid needs to be punished or removed from the playground. Other children or even Adults should not suffer because a behavioral issue of another child.
Can you tell I had a run in today? Sorry, super frustrated.
MILF! you are cute…
Dude, you’re ruining my street cred.
Hitting? Yes, not tolerated. But I’ve been told by perfect strangers I’m a bad mom because my kid sat down on the floor in the middle of the supermarket and started yelling.
Of course, if he’s melting down, I remove him, as safely for him – and me – as possible. But I get super frustrated at people who give me tips on parenting when they have NO clue what we go through.
So – I understand your frustration. I guess I just don’t like being told what to do.
Chrisa
It sounds to me like you are disciplining your kid. I don’t care how you, or anyone actually does discipline their kid, as long as they do it. It’s those moms who just do nothing.
Mason used to get out of control and I mean OUT OF CONTROL–Partial in my defense he did ODD–for those of you who don’t know what that is –it’s oppositional defiant disorder…..(IMO all kids have that to some degree LOL) But he needed ALOT more discipline then other children. And I have to tell you, I yelled, I screamed –so much so screaming no longer worked because that was all I was doing–Time outs? HAH!! the only way that kid would have sat in time out was with some duct tape (no I never used it). I checked his diet and removed ALL irritants such as red dyes, orange dyes, and believe it or not folks even yellow dyes have bad effects on children. No sugars and this kid was even going to a psychologist. The irritant removal somewhat helped but not completely. Now mind you no one understood not even my family what I went through –I got the old you just have no control, He owns you etc………..UNTIL one by one they actually witnesses his outbursts.
Now up until he was 2 I had never spanked him (my ex was against and used to just tell me I was..well basically a lousy mother and just didn’t know how to handle him…………) Well one day I was just so up to my wits end (no I did not beat him) but I gave a swift spank on the bare bottom and that finally broke him of his violent outbursts. One just one spanking was all it took.
Now the violent outbursts were over (oddly enough he was only violent to me THANKFULLY no one else) so for the other “defiant” little acts of bad behavior I got creative. (every child is different in responding to discipline and in his case NOTHING of the norm worked).
One day when he was 3 (and this one’s my favorite) ….he kept jumping out of his booster seat and crawling up front while I was driving. I would pull over beg ,plead, cry, call daddy etc… and everyday it took longer and longer to get him back in his seat. So the thrird or fourth day (I forget) I was SO fed up I pulled him into the police station and made an officer talk to him about breaking the law! hehehe It worked! He is now 8 and when we get in the car to this day if I start the ignition befores completely seatbelted he freaks out “NO MOM! Don’T drive yet!”
I am in total agreement with you that children need discipline. I hear it all too often from other women (and men as well) that “they are too tired” or my favorite is “If I don’t give them their way It will be more of a punishment to ” <–sickening! positively sickening! I was working fulltime, with a nuerological disorder, an absent husband and a child with ODD……….I still managed to find time to discipline my child (even if it didn't work on him for a few years atleast I tried to do it). If I can do it there is NO excuse!
Teachers all over America would thank you. So, I will on their behalf. Even if the technique doesn’t work, just try… something. I could go on and on about things kids do at school that parents ignore and even REWARD. My favorite story is the 5th grader who kept kicking other kids during the annual Turkey Trot, and then when disciplined by the teacher (me) he told her (me) to F-off. His mother brought him a happy meal an hour later for lunch, to help make him feel better. Awesome, huh?
LeeAnn, I am completely shocked by some of the parents lack of awareness. Maybe they are totally aware and could just careless. All I can do is shake my head.
Slinks into post to apologize :::: my son once kicked a daycare teacher::: Ok it made me giggle as to why and how but he WAS punished for it. And in his defense he was only 2 and a 1/2 ish???
Yeah it was wrong he kicked her but she did deserve it LOL needless to say within 6 months of him being kicked out both the Teacher AND the director (who was the owners daughter BTW) were fired :p
Okay this is such a hot button (obviously!).
When Nugget acts up, at home or in public, he’s scorned (because that sounds way more intimidating than, “I straight up yelled at that mofo, yo!”) and/or removed from the situation. Now he has a short attention span at restaurants, which is a huge disappointment compared to how he would handle them from 3 days old up until about 4 months ago. So, we made a family transition and save restaurants-that-will-likely-get-peeved-by-a-roaming-two-year-old for date night or adults only outing (or, hell, when ever Popi’s around, the obedience is uncanny) and the family-friendly-at-least-he-isn’t-a-hyena-like-that-other-kid for when we want to dine out as a family. Luckily, he’s pseudo terrified by other children so when we’re at the playground, he’s a hermit. But if he throws a temper tantrum at home, he is disciplined and goes to the time out corner that’s on the landing of the stairs where he understands that when he’s bad, he gets to be stuck between two places to play and have fun like a good little boy, his playroom and the living room. He sobs with his nose against the wall, says his sheepish apologies, then gets to resume playing sans tantrum. Because, for the love of everything, CHILDREN SHOULD NOT ALWAYS GET WHAT THEY WANT!
End rant/novel.
Agreed, agreed, agreed! I don’t care wo is looking I don’t care HOW they are looking at me, if a reprimand is in order so it shall be done no matter the logistics!!
Nothing was worse than the look I recieved when my 6 years old lashed her tounge at me in public and a mother near by joined hereself into our situation and told my daughter, “If my child spoke to me like that, she would’t see the light of day for a week!”
Extreme? Maybe, but thank GOD she did that, as I always have a visit to that woman’s house to hang over my daughters head!
This is going to sound absolutely AWFUL of me and inhumane but I do believe in Kiddie leashes :p
My ex refused to let me buy one for Mason (so bought one anyway and hid it in the car)…I HAD TO! For the most part I TRIED to my shopping when I didnt have him with me (he was sooooo bad discipline didn’t always work) but for those time I absolutely had NO choice what-so-ever I had it in my trunk. For my sanity and the safety of those in public supermarkets! He would blatently run up to whatever item in the supermarket that could cause the most ruckus (canned good, glass bottle items etc) and throw them on the floor, at me, at the cart etc…. OMG the stares and comments I endured through all of that……..the stares and snide remarks about the kiddie leash were far more bearable. (besides if they got too catty with me I had the upperhand of taking him off his leash and letting him loose on the cackling hens :p)
::disclaimer, my child was NOT the typical toddler he was diagnosed with O.D.D. and he WAS in fact disciplined for every wrong action but it wasn’t enough::
I truly believe though that it WAS my constant attempts of discipline turned into battle that helped him through it without having to medicate him.
Now that Mason is 8 and FAR more adjusted to take into those situations (in fact now he’s helpful) I try to be sympathetic when I see Moms struggling with their kids in supermarkets, resteraunts etc…… However when I see the ones Don’t even try it ticks me off. I mean my kid was bad but I atleast TRIED.